Back At It

On the road again...

Here I am at the airport heading out for a Trampled tour. We’ve had almost three months off the road and it feels like a year, honestly. Some time back, we switched our touring program up from what it had been for the majority of our career; that being two or three week runs and then back home for hopefully the same amount of time. I was getting burnt out on the constant motion and wanted to be home more, so we went to somewhat of a long weekend design. We’d fly out on Wednesday or Thursday and back home Sunday or Monday, depending on the shows. We’ve done it that way for a few years now, but by the end of 2023 I found myself even more burnt out on the near constant back and forth. I was unpacking my suitcase into the washing machine and packing it back up again out of the dryer. I’d fit in as much family time as I could between these short runs and then back to the airport I’d go. So, this year we decided to make it kind of a hybrid. We’re doing a couple long (for us) runs with big chunks of time off surrounding them, and filling in a few festivals and random weekend shows when they seem to make sense. I’m very thankful the guys put up with me.

Sometimes I change things simply to change them. Know thyself. I don’t know if this new/old way of touring will feel better than weekend-warrioring or not. It’s entirely possible that after a couple weeks on the bus I’ll have a proper freakout and once again threaten to quit the band. Our manager doesn’t know either and he keeps qualifying future touring opportunities with, “Well, let’s just see how March goes…” It’s a bit like buying on credit: I just enjoyed the most continuous time with my family I’ve had since Covid shut down my line of work, but now it’s time to pay the piper (and the bills).

Like a lot of touring musicians, I battle with tour. On one hand, it’s my dream job that I’ve struggled toward since I was a teenager. It’s doing what I love. On the other, it’s constant travel, a brain chemical roller coaster, and there’s plenty of examples of it ending poorly for even the most well-traveled gypsies. I’ve never been able to sleep on a tour bus, which is a silly problem to have coming from over a decade in a van, but it’s one that adds up fairly quickly when each night is capped with a serotonin spiking show. Up and down, up and down. Alternatively, I really enjoy the simple routines of tour and the space it affords me to write, read, and play guitar, explore new places, things I sometimes fail to squeeze into busy days at home. I love being able to show my kids the art of travel and the circus of traveling with a band. I miss morning tea with my wife and my daily hikes with my dogs.

Nothing is free. I tell my kids that all the time and I’m not talking about money. What I’m talking about is that for each choice in life there is a sacrifice. Even the good ones. The most successful musicians I know, the ones who can tour whenever they want and take years off at a time whenever they want, they face their own set of challenges and demons. So do the guys on my old roofing crew. Where we often get stuck is in the muck of wanting it all. I want to get paid to write songs and play them (insane!) but I also want to be at every baseball game, show choir competition, school play, etc. My reality is, of course, I cannot have both. Would I be a better father if I still worked 12 hours a day pounding nails? How much does personal fulfillment affect my relationships? I’m dramatic by nature so I often dream of hanging it up and leading a more traditional life, only to eventually realize that’s not what I want at all. I enjoy showing my kids that having a weird job is possible. A lot of the world around them seems to discourage such thinking.

Chloë tells me I need to slow down. Often. I admire her ability to think through a decision and wait for her intuition to guide her. I’ve seen it work well. I usually jump the gun and smash into my decisions with little or no research, bouncing back and forth through life like a pinball. I think the space between our methods is one reason we get along so well, actually. As I get older, though, I am putting a lot more conscious energy into loving what I do. I’ve become better at structuring my home life in a way that feels creative, and structuring my tour life in a way that feels sane. I don’t think I’ll ever fully get there, but firm structure has never been a goal of mine, anyway.

Before I head to my gate, I want to say thank you to all of you who, throughout the decades, have listened to my songs and come out to our shows. It’s the dumbest thing in the world that we get to do this for a living. Thanks for coming over here, too, and reading whatever the hell this is. It feels good to write. Wish me luck out there and I’ll do the same for you.